What Kills Friendship

It’s a joy to have friends. What would life all be without them, especially in a world of criticism, competition and loneliness? When life seems to be too hard and obstacles seem too big they are the ones that give us the courage to go on. Probably I am calling you to be reminded of one such friend who stood by you. May be it’s your mother, father, a teacher or a friend from school. While some friendships are fleeting some are lasting ones. The old Jewish Proverb says, “a friend is loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”

Yes true friendships are glued together with love, grace and commitment.

But what gets in the way of making friends or friendship? There are several reasons and I want to lay before three landmines we need to look out for in the course of our life that can explode and be a destructing force of friendship. They are envy, jealousy and anger that cause you to separate from the one who truly loved you.

Now there is a subtle difference between envy and jealousy. To envy is to want something that belongs to the other person while to be jealous is to have a fear that something you posses would be taken away from the other person. Envy and jealousy may quickly change its color to anger causing that bitterness to separate.

Benjamin Franklin reminds us that, “whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” Around 300 BCE the world encountered the greatest military conqueror. I am reminded of Alexander the Great, the Macedonian Prince who came conquering most parts of the world. On one occasion one of his childhood friends named Cletus drunk with much wine ridiculed Alexander in front of his army and men. Filled with rage and anger, Alexander snatched a spear and hurled it on his beloved friend Cletus. The spear pinned him. Alexander’s intension was to scare the drunken general but the spear took his friends life.

 We don’t throw spears but most of the time it is verbal violence, pinning down those whom we love. The dire need of our world is the friendship factor. In a world of war and military campaigns what we need is reconciliation and peace. Abraham Lincoln said, “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.—“

 So what can restore the image of friendship? Yes, forgiveness restores broken relationship and heals the deep wounds.

There’s a story that is from the country of Spain, a story about a father and son who became bitter enemies and strangers. The son left the home and ran away. But later the father set off to find him. The search began and went for days, weeks and months. In a desperate last effort to find him, the father put an advertisement in a Madrid Newspaper. It read: Dear Pablo meet me this Saturday at 12 noon in front of this newspaper office. All is forgiven. I really miss you and love you son. Your loving dad.  On Saturday 400 Pablos showed up, looking for love and forgiveness from their fathers.

Well you think about it!

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